By: Annwen Quilliam
I recently took the Enneagram test, which is an archetypal framework with 9 different types of ‘personalities’ that offers some insight into individuals, groups and is usually used in work settings to assist with understanding of self and others. The Enneagram types range from ‘Loyal Sceptic’ to ‘Considerate Helper’, to ‘Competitive achiever’ and even ‘Enthusiastic Visionary’. The test asks a series of questions on a rating scale and at the end provides you with a write up on your personality type. It came as NO surprize to me, that my Enneagram was 1; The Reformer – strict perfectionist. Here’s a brief insight into The Reformer:
Enneagram Ones value principles and integrity and are driven by the motivational need to be good and right. Their name comes from their striving for perfection and self-control. Integrity and quality will also be important to them. Ones tend to appreciate standards, principles and structure.
The self-talk we have as type 1’s are “The world is imperfect and I must work towards improving it. I must be good/right/perfect and avoid mistakes. I must distinguish between right and wrong and apply myself diligently to make the world better”
Source: https://www.integrative9.com/enneagram/introduction/type-1
At least once a week I am reading a policy or procedure to ensure there is no deviation from ‘what is right’. If we ever play a boardgame together, please know I have read the rules and will ensure everyone follows them (sounds like a fun person to invite right?). Am I perfect in it? Absolutely not, but I am driven by fairness, and justice is important to me. So, when I was asked to write on turning the other cheek, I knew I had a bit of work to do.
Matthew 5:38-39 (NIV) says: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also”.
The request to write this blog came at a time when injustice and ‘slaps on cheeks’ were coming thick and fast. I thought about revenge and taking that eye a lot.
Every fibre of me, being a reformer, want to stick to verse 38 and trade evil for evil in the name of what is ‘right’. Because verse 39 feels weak. It feels like there is gross injustice. In relationship with God, reading what He has written about what is right takes you to Proverbs 28:5 (NIV) which says: “Evildoers do not understand what is right but those who seek the Lord understand it fully”.
What is right is turning the other cheek. Romans 12:21 (NIV) tells us “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.”
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” Romans 12:17 (NIV). In the eyes of everyone, revenge feels ‘right’. We must ‘name and shame’, we must cancel them and rally others around to ‘take their tooth’. But what God is asking us to do is written in Romans 12:19-20 (NIV):
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge, I will repay”, says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
In this obedience we believe evil can be overcome with good and that pay back is not ours to get, but rather for the Lord. “For we know him who said: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ and again, ‘The Lord will judge His people.” Hebrews 10:30 (NIV).
Turning the other cheek and heaping them in burning coals is ongoing. There is a betrayal recovery plan, and it begins with the F word. Forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV).
And then pray for your enemies “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27&28 (NIV).
You don’t get to have that eye for the eye that was taken from you. But what you do get, is a small understanding of how good God is when you choose to forgive just as He has forgiven you. If God took a body part every time we sinned, I doubt most of us would remain. And so, we are grateful that our God is just, but also loving. That he loves those who have done evil and sinned against Him. We are told to love our neighbours and our enemies as Matthew 5 continues and told to “pray for those who persecute you” Matthew 5: 44 (NIV).
Turn the other cheek, forgive them, pray for them and “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48 (NIV).